can i stay at your place? no hobo
I hate when my teachers lower my test scores… it’s so degradeing
a magician asks you to pick a card - any card, in fact. you do. they ask you to put the card back in the pack - anywhere in the pack, in fact. you do. they walk away. ten years later, your wife gives birth to the six of clubs. “is this your card?” the midwife asks, in a familiar voice.
Know what’s on the menu? Me-n-u
lets talk about how dreamworks made a main character with a prosthetic limb. lets talk about how his best friend and his dads best friend also had fully functional prosthetics that weren’t made to look inconspicuous. let’s talk about how the females are all kick ass, but have the capacity to be human. let’s talk about how the only sexualized thing in how to train your dragon 2 was eret son of eret’s arms
i wish that my face was the bigger square on FaceTime because i like looking at myself
what do you do at hogwarts if you start your period?
like do you go and see madam promfrey? or your head of year? because i’m just trying to imagine the slytherin girls going snape and asking for tampons