Tagged: #DAMN #c #pick up

mak-o:

ARE YOU TODAY’S DATE?

BECAUSE YOURE 10/10

(via basedpandesal)

Tagged: #c

praisethevibe:

Hamburger was my favorite Anal Monkeys album

(via jjoshua-dun)

Tagged: #c

pishposhspice:

my roommate is 2 days younger than me so i’ve gotten into the habit of saying “when i was your age..” and then describing what i did 2 days ago

(via pagingme)

Tagged: #c

guccier:

boom clap the sound of my thighs

(via pagingme)

Tagged: #c
zme: are there any spirits listening
ouija: yes are you alone
me: yes
ouija: haha nice whats up :P
me: trying to contact my dead grandmother
ouija: cool cool so what would u be doing if i was alive right now lol
Tagged: #c

kawaiirostam:

[aziz ansari voice] :D

(Source: liampayneisafuckboy, via internetgf)

Tagged: #omg totally me #c

jobhaver:

you: that is a nice ass shirt

me: thank you but, to be honest, its called “pants” and not an “ass shirt”

(via beyoncevevo)

Tagged: #SAME #c

askinnyblackman:

things i used to laugh at

  • actual jokes

things i laugh at now

  • yard sard

(Source: askinnyblackskeleton, via girlwithkalidoscopeeeyes)

Tagged: #c #pun

butt-grab:

so we went to an improv show and we played this game where somebody is given a trait and another player has to guess what it is based on how they answer questions

and one of the players who was a taxidermist was asked “what do you do for a living?” and she replied “oh you know…. stuff” AND TO THIS DAY THAT IS THE GREATEST PUN I HAVE EVER HEARD MY GOD

(via maddagazcar)

Tagged: #pun #c

notimefordirtytalk:

You know, if you watch the lion king closely, you can find a lot of simbalism.

(Source: allyasavedthedayagain, via beyoncevevo)