spelling bee administrator: you word is delicious
me: D to the E to the L I C I O U S to the D to the E to the to the to the
spelling bee administrator: hit it fergie
beyonces speaking voice is deep and powerful too like i feel like if she were to call me a mothafucka it would resonate down my entire ancestral line and make my first ever primitive ancestor collaspe and erase my entire family tree
Me: *finds it kind of funny* *finds it kind of sad*
you know what we say
the only people who don’t like eating ass have never tasted one
"pirates of the caribbean 5 sets a 2017 release date!"
Any salad can be a Caesar salad if you stab it enough
you know how when you go to a concert or show of some sort and the person on stage is like “HOW’S EVERYONE DOING TONIGHT?!?!?!?!” and the audience cheers back? why? you’re not answering the question, you’re just yelling. imagine if we did that in daily conversation. “hey jeff, how are ya?” and jeff just starts screaming and clapping in your face
The Marauders getting drunk and Sirius is just like “werewolf” and then points to Remus, “here wolf”.
how to be cool
A) cool sunglasses emoji
is that a god damn pun. in emoticon format